STRENGTH OR LIMITATION?

Never judge a fish by its ability to climb trees…. Said a wise man called Albert Einstein.

We are all endowed with qualities and abilities. Many, many of them. We sometimes use them in isolation and sometimes in combination.

The right skills or abilities in the wrong place may look like a limitation. For example, if an introverted guy with a creative writing capacity takes up a job as a salesman, he will look like someone with a lot of limitations, as the wrong fit of the job requirements to his capabilities may make him feel inadequate.

Instead, if he finds a job that can utilize his natural skill and talent of creative writing, for example as a copy writer, his limitations turn into strengths. His introversion and introspection may aid in creative writing.

So next time you feel limited, it may be worth wondering if that is because you are the right person in the wrong place!?

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ECO and EGO

I’d like to borrow the image below to share my thoughts. For me the picture on the left represents autism. The picture on the right represents neurotypical.

Autism, no ego. NT, has ego (in this context, self or individuality).

Autism, exists in unity with all creation. NT experiences duality.

Autism is oneness- no boundaries. NT experiences separation.

Autism is affected by what happens to the ECO- the universe, to the earth, to the plants, animals and other people around them. Hence the sensitivities. NT exploits the earth to feed the EGO- the self.

EGO (the lower ego) is the cause of all the war, strife, poverty, terrorism and all the troubles in the world.

When we exploit the earth, we are not only hurting our new, sensitive children but also ourselves. The children feel it and we don’t. At least not immediately. Because the reality is that although we feel separate, we are not. We are as part of the ECO as the children are. But we don’t feel as such. So when we hurt anything outside of us, we are hurting ourselves.

It’s like the hand thinking that the leg is separate from it and hurts it for some reason. The leg hurts but the whole being feels the pain.

We only realize this on hindsight.

So the fact is that the picture on the right is our NT reality too and the one on the right is our illusion.

When we understand how we are all connected to the ECO, we learn to nurture the ECO and not the EGO. If we can get into the world of our children with autism, we can feel we’re part of the ECO. No duality, no separation, just oneness.

When we heal and nurture the earth, we heal and nurture our children and in turn ourselves.

Let’s heal the earth and be one with each other. That is the message of Autism for me.

Can we consciously dissolve our EGO to become a part of the ECO?

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On Sensory Processing Issues

My elder daughter had many sensory issues. With eating, clothing and so on. She would start fretting over the uniform in the last minute after the bus came or she would remove her shoes and socks. She would feel the clothes for softness before buying them! She was a poor eater, anaemic and underweight. She had attention issues at school.
She also had severe asthma. She would have coughing spells in the middle of the night and we would have to rush to the hospital. But now it’s all changed.

I’d like to share what worked for me. I’m sharing so that others may benefit from my experience.

When she was 10 years old and her younger sister was just born, I met Anthroposophy, a philosophy founded by Rudolf Steiner.
This is a holistic philosophy that takes into consideration all aspects of a human being. Physical, Etheric, astral and spiritual.
I understood that many aspects were contributing to my daughter’s problems.
I understood that some children need a pure environment to thrive.
These were the mistakes I was making:
– Giving her packaged junk food like chips, chocolates and cookies.
– Allowing her to watch hours of TV
– Pumping her with unnecessary information and knowledge through CDs and books and ignoring physical activities
– Letting her stay up late (11-11.30 PM) and watch TV with us and complaining that she troubled us to wake up in the morning!!
– Not being aware of healthy Rhythms and routines
– not doing enough work with hands and Obsession with intellectual knowledge (on my part)
Just to name a few and to sum it up, I was an unconscious parent.

But all this changed when I went to the Anthroposophic conference. She was already 10 and I thought it was too late to change. But my increasing conviction gave me the inner strength I needed to bring about healthy changes in our family.
I learnt that children need to be fed with natural, fresh, home made food,

have healthy routines and regular Rhythms of the day,

Avoid TV and technology, especially ipads and mobile phones. They are not toys.

Encourage outdoor activities,
Encourage sensory stimulation,
Avoid malls, arcades and other loud environments,

Eat and sleep at around the same time everyday,

Avoid too much focus on intellectual stimulation,

Adopt alternative medical practice like homeopathy,

As parents, let the children watch us doing real work, engage our hands,

And to do inner work ourselves to gain control over our own anxieties and emotions,

These were a few changes I could bring about.
My daughter has now blossoned into a healthy teenager, studying in one of the best colleges. She is as healthy as she can be, given her erratic college and hostel life/style. But she’s free of sensory issues and asthma. That is a lot for me!
Once children leave home, we have no control over their food, lifestyle or environment. But if we are able to lay a healthy foundation in childhood, they are equipped to handle irregularities in a better way.
Probably her sensory issues were not so severe, but I do hope this sharing about a holistic approach helps other parents and children with similar issues.
Love to all,
Nirupama