When we used to stay in Bangalore, my elder daughter used to suffer from severe asthma. There were many sleepless nights of continuous coughing. And nights where we had to rush her to emergency to give her nebulisation. Later we bought a nebuliser. There was even a forgettable incedence where she had to be hospitalised.
I eventually found a homeopath who was inspired by anthroposophy. She explained to me how a mother’s emotional life had an impact on the child’s health, vitality and well being.
I was going through an emotional low at that time. The homeopath who was also trained in counselling said it was I that needed treatment. When I felt better my daughter would too. So I went to her and to a clinical psychologist for therapy and talked about everything that had ever bothered me.
Thanks to the homeopath I met anthroposophy and learnt about the “pedagogical law” among many other things. That is how the caregiver/mother/teacher/doctor/therapist’s well being influenced that of those they serve.
In anthroposophy a lot of importance is given to inner work on the part of parents and teachers. Children imitate us at various levels. The most important being what we don’t say!!
So I learnt that we have to strive to be worthy of being imitated.
I took the efforts to work on myself- Inner Work we call it.
Then we moved to Mumbai. My daughter started getting better and better.
Her school was better, there was no Bangalore pollen, and I was getting better. Learning everyday, bringing changes into who I am and that changed what I did.
For me an important aspect of inner work is all about being conscious of what we say and do in a non judgmental way…as an observer. In a way working from bottom up. Action to consciousness to being.
Cut to the present. My daughter has returned to Bangalore for her project. In spite of my experience and awareness I was still anxious about the pollen and it’s reputation as the ‘asthma capital’ of the country and its effect on my daughter’s health.
Voila!! It’s been more than a month and touchwood!! You know what…..dare I say it!!
But then again back then it was probably not even the pollen that had not allowed her to breathe!! It was probably my own insecurities that were cramping her life force!!!
I’m putting myself In a vulnerable position here so people understand the effect we have on those we serve…
Steiner said…it’s not what we say or do that affects children. It’s who we are.
10 thoughts on “Inner Work”
Wow! Such a wonderful article. So apt ….My son has a similar wheezing problem and is on nebulizer. Your article has just brought a different dimension to my thoughts.
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Thanks so much Deepa! I wish you the very best!
Wow indeed! I love your writing style and even more so your message. Parents underestimate or even dont acknoweledge the importance of their well being…
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Thanks so much Janneke! Somethings are learnt only by experience but when we share our experiences it helps others to get an insight!!
Loved your write up Niru…to work on Inner work Inner Voice !
Wow Nirupama, hats off to your courage. Your dedication to inner work is inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing a part of your journey
Thanks so much Maya!!!
Discovered your blog today and can’t stop reading the posts! 🙂
I resonate with your statement about a mother’s emotional state affecting her children – I do see that unfolding through my daughter.
I have lot of emotional baggage that I want to cast off to provide respite for both myself and my daughter, who is 9. I have not done any kind of evaluation on her, but I do realise that she is in need of more support, love and energy that I am currently capable of offering.
We moved to Bangalore a while back and do not have any friends/support system around. I would be highly thankful if you could point me to holistic counsellors/therapists/ health practitioners that can restore and nourish our body, soul and spirit.
With blessings and warmth,
Hi!! How are you? Any updates?
Hello! Hope you and your daughter are doing well. I hope you found the person you are looking for. If not, write to me on email@example.com